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Are You Abusing? |
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From the National Domestic Violence Hotline |
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Not all men are abusive. How do you measure up? |
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Abuse Is: |
- Calling a person bad names or putting
someone down
- Shouting and cursing
- Hitting, slapping, and or pushing
- Making threats of any kind
- Jealously and suspicion
- Keeping someone away from family and friends
- Throwing things around the house
- Destroying property and hurting pets
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Domestic Violence Is A
Crime |
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It destroys relationships and families. It passes
from generation to generation. It doesn't have to be
this way. |
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If You Abuse, You Can
Choose To Stop |
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Call us at (505) 243-2333 |
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Friends and Family - Yes,
It Is Your Business! |
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Maybe he's your friend, brother-in-law, cousin,
co-worker, gym partner or fishing buddy. You've
noticed that he interrupts her, criticizes her
family, yells at her or scares her. You hope that
when they are alone, it isn't worse. The way he
treats her makes you uncomfortable, but you don't
want to make him mad or lose his friendship. You
surely don't want to see him wreck his marriage or
have to call the police. What can you do? Say
something. If you don't your silence is the same as
saying abuse is ok. He could hurt someone or
end up in jail. Because you care, you need to do
something....before it is too late |
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What Can You Say or Do? |
- Draw attention to it
- Do you see the effect your bad words
have on her?
- When you do that, it makes her feel bad.
- Did you mean to be so rough? That's not
cool.
- Tell him what you think
- I'm really worried about her safety
- I'm surprised to see you act that way.
You're better than that.
- I care about you, but I won't tolerate
it if you abuse her.
- This makes me really uncomfortable. It's
not right.
- Express ideas about loving behavior
- Loving her doesn't mean abusing her.
- Good husbands and partners don't say or
do those kinds of things.
- Offer suggestions or solutions
- Men should never hit or threaten the
women they love.
- Kids learn from their parents. Is this
how you want your son to threat women?
- How would you feel if your daughter
chose someone who acted like this?
- Call me if you feel like you're losing
control.
- Maybe you should try counseling.
- You should talk to your faith leader and
see what he or she suggests.
- If his behavior is criminal, tell him so.
- Domestic violence is a crime. You could
be arrested for this.
- You could end up in jail if you don't
find a way to deal with your problems. Then
what would happen to you and your family?
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He May Not Like It |
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He may not listen. He may get enraged, deny it,
ignore you or make excuses. He may want to talk
about what she did to him. He may even laugh it off
or make fun of you. Still, uou need to say
something. Your silence is the same as saying you
approve. |
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Or He May Take You
Seriously and Decide to Change |
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If men learn to put down and abuse women from other
men, they can also learn from other men how to
respect women. When you decide that violence against
women is unacceptable and choose to lead, other men
will begin to think twice before they strike with
their words or fists. It isn't easy or
comfortable, but men must step up to the plate
because next time, it could be your sister, mother,
friend or co-worker. It's the right thing to do. |
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Listen. Teach. Lead. |
